Thank you Tommy

I went to the grocery store today and there was a homeless man standing outside with a cardboard sign asking for money and that he was a veteran. He had a backpack and a garbage bag of his belongings. He looked rough, dirty and weathered. It has been unusually cold this past few months and I can’t imagine what it must be like to live rough. It felt like everyone walked by head down, ignoring him. I have done the same thing, I don’t like to see the pain, the reality of life today.

My brother Tommy taught me to see differently, Tommy was bi polar and had a rough life mostly without family support. The last few years of his life he lived on the streets because he could no longer afford the rat infested room he had in the city. He would get beat up, have his stuff stolen but the guy had turned to Buddhism  and took it all with a laugh. I worried about him all the time. I worried about him getting hurt, I worried about him going crazy and maybe hurting somebody else. So there is part of me that was mad at him, blaming him for my worry. But I realize he has also left me with something precious, the awareness of how hard it is living out on the street. How our society doesn’t know how to handle people that are damaged and can’t contribute the ways we are expected too. Popping a pill doesn’t make everything better.

So Tommy taught me to have compassion for the man who blessed me when I gave him a few dollars. He taught me not to judge what I don’t understand. I didn’t walk away feeling better because I donated but I did feel grateful for knowing Tommy would approve.