Giving

As we live in this shit show that is 2025, there is so many things to be frustrated by. So many. One that is bothering me lately is the food shortages that are happening because many Americans lack the funds to feed their family. Due in part to the rising prices of food. Forget going organic, the prices are obscene especially if you want to buy local. So who comes to their rescue? Other poor Americans that know how it feels to be poor and unable to feed their family. It is always the poor who step up first to help. What bugs me is food banks and charities can’t really fix the problem they just offer a bandaid. In this country we seem to like bandaids better then solutions. I know I am stating the obvious when I scream to myself what we need is a LIVING WAGE for the worker bees (which I am) and for the Billionares to start paying taxes.

How much is enough? When does it stop?

Thinking back.

I was talking to a friend about the different tiny spaces I have lived in. One of the first was a boxcar in Lahaina that was two blocks from the harbor. Great location. It was all wood inside with shelves and hooks and the bathroom and shower were in another building adjacent to the boxcar. It was simple but the price was right, I was surrounded by banana and papaya trees and I could live by myself. Not an easy thing to do in Lahaina 1976. As I was talking about the boxcar I remembered how the queen mum newly married had a fight with Captain Rolly and decided to move in with me. What? Next thing I know there we are cozy in the boxcar. After a couple of days the Captain shows up, and doesn’t leave. I guess they were feeling the boxcar; (newlyweds) so I found a new home. The queen mum did this more than once to me.showing up and moving into my digs. I think she liked my taste in beach living. Miss you mum, thanks for all the laughs.

I’m a disc jockey

I have never been ambitious. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up so I tried to avoid growing up.

I did want to be a dancer, a ballerina. My father said forget it you have fat ankles. So I did,  without even trying.

I never thought about being a disc jockey which is what I think of myself as now. But I still can’t quite work out what or who a disc jockey is, but I do have an example of a disc jockey.

One of the dj’s at my station was sick for weeks with a cold she could not get rid of. She sounded terrible but there she was ready to do her show (most dj’s I know are dedicated even if not paid). So she is hacking away barely able to talk and then she gets behind the microphone and turns up the pot and starts talking to her audience smooth as silk,  no indication at all she is sick. 

This story is an homage to Dusty Street. RIP

RADIO ON!

It’s time

Like many I am a nervous wreck thinking about Monday and the inauguration. The fact that it is on MLK day sickens me. Times like this you really need to lean in deep to your sense of humor.

Today I read on the air on KPTZ.org a piece by Marianne Williamson

Here it is

We’re living at a time when nothing will be as it was, a time of monsters but a time of angels, a time of great darkness but a time of great light.

For many, this is not an easy time. The world around us is a reflection of who we’ve been until now; the only way to repair the world is if we ourselves are willing to change. Each of us is being put through challenges, somehow perfect for making us who we need to be to do the things we need to do.

If we can all just be a little bit kinder, a little more merciful, and a lot more forgiving, that of itself will generate new beginnings.

And if you’re one of the people experiencing the deep and painful trauma of these times, know that you’re not alone. So many people feel as you do. Somehow, somewhere, Love will yet prevail for all. The thing we have to remember is that love can’t be something we’re just waiting to appear. Love is waiting for us, and can only appear when we are willing to channel it into the world.

I suggest you read it at least three times.

Managing Stress in Uncertain Times

I don’t know about you but I am working very hard not to get stressed out about the inauguration of “He who will not be named.” I know stress is bad for the body and I live with it all the time mainly due to my financial conditon which is in the red zone. So why do I seem to take on more stress by worrying about what is going on in my world? I have always been sensitve maybe even hyper sensitive. It can be a curse and a blessing (sometimes in disguise.) The past few weeks have felt so tense when I read about what is going on in the world, well not really the whole world more like my world. The fires in Southern California have caused so much pain too so many, I can’t help but relate. I have felt that kind of loss. I try to limit my internet scrolling, I spend more time paying attention to my thought, always working on calming the “monkey mind.” I like to think positive but I will admit I have to practice it because you don’t grow up Catholic without knowing how to go to the dark side of any situation.

I know in my heart all I can really do is try to live my life with compassion for others and patience for what I don’t understand. Writing helps me in that challenge of balance.

I’m petsitting at the moment and I find being around dogs and cats actually gives me endorphins that I crave. Helps calm the beast in me.

How do you calm the beast?

My First Experience Watching Tosca Live

I went to our local elegant theater to watch Tosca being presented by the Metropolitan Opera. I have listened to opera on the radio, but never watched a full opera. This one was translated on the screen which I’m not sure I really liked, my imagination seems better. And how come they sing for two minutes but the translation is four words? I mean I feel like they have left out something. The sets were beautiful, the singers fine but the orchestra I was unhappy with. Do you blame the conductor? Instead of complementing the singers, dancing with them, I felt like the orchestra was competing with the voices. And let’s get real; an orchestra is going to win that competition. Crazy. I know nothing about opera and here I am judging the performance. I think that is part of the experience of art. As the observer you get to decide, what you like and what you don’t.

Healing Through Music: My Grief Playlist Journey

As I work on my playlist this week I am sitting deep in grief. A woman I have known for 60 years has died. She was important to me.  I know my playlist will reflect my sorrow and so it goes. I listen to my music  and remember the first grief playlist I ever made. We were on our way to a hockey game when I got the call.  My father was dead. The first person I loved who had died and my world went black. We didn’t go the the game. I went into the living room and closed the door and started playing songs on the record player for Tom, for me. It was the only way I could deal with the pain. And here I am 49 years later still using music as a way to heal.

THINGS I HAVE NOTICED

Don’t eat fresh crab in bed, no matter how neat you are you are going to end up sleeping on a pieces of shell.

If someone decides to share their pain or sadness with you try not to immediately tell them your sad story. Just listen and make sweet cooing noises.

Right here and right now is the only guarantee you get so stop waiting till things are “perfect”

No one can make you happy. That is your job.

“Growing old,” I used to not like that expressions until I stopped and thought about it. We all get old and if you can do it and keep growing in mind and spirit, not in the belly you will be a happy oldster.

Listening should be your secret weapon to living a good life.

Don’t watch animal videos of people encountering bears while hiking just before you go to bed.

Tomato Season

I only eat tomatoes during the Summer when they are at their peak. Truth is I’ve been told I should not eat tomatoes at all but I don’t listen. For a small window usually during the warmest part of the year I indulge. I had my first tomato this season and part of it I fried with my egg for breakfast. It immediately took me back to when I was 19 years old and in London for the first time. I remember I went to town with a few friends and ended up in a flat the next morning with an Englishman making me breakfast of eggs and fried tomatoes. A first for me. I don’t remember the bloke, what it was like sleeping with him, where he lived. what we did, but I do remember my first fried tomato with runny eggs.

Disgruntled

Feeling the hostility: could it be all that solar energy?

Just trying to mind my own business but difficult to do when so many people are acting out their anger. My little town known for being so polite at the four way stop sign is showing signs of being frayed around the edges.

I was so excited to go to the dog park with the dog I am pet sitting. I have been watching dogs and their owners have fun in that dog park for a number of years while doing my show from the station at MVC. When I got the chance to take the dog I was sitting to the park I was so pleased. As it turns out everyone at the park knew Woody and he was welcomed back with open arms. The next dog I took care of the exact opposite happened. Winston has not been trained as well as he could be and has some behavioral issues. I had hoped being around other dogs would help some of these issues. He did good with the other dogs for the most part but the owners did not like Winston. He is ball obsessed and would often go after the ball and then refuse to drop it and would often go and attempt to take the ball swing out of their hand. I was working on distracting him by playing just with me but not before one owner started screaming at me about my dog. I will tell you that being screamed out in front of a bunch of strangers and their lovely dogs is not a nice feeling. When I asked her why she was being so hostile she replied “because I’m frustrated.” Aren’t we all lady. There is a small enclosed area which hardly gets used so I took Winston there while I worked with him not to be so aggressive while playing ball. I try to go at times there are not many people around but occasionally for what ever reason another dog owner wants to come in the small area I warn them about Winston and his challenges. Today a man who I have seen there before who has dealt with Winston and been frustrated with his behavior decided he wanted to join us with his dog. He was holding the ball thrower that Winston goes crazy over and I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea. He then blew up at me, screaming who did I think I was that I could have a whole pen to myself etc, etc, etc. This place that had charmed me with the good vibes of dogs and humans connecting and playing together was soiled with his anger and meanness. 

People are so disgruntled these days and acting out in ugly ways. It’s exhausting to be around.