Kathy wants to be a writer when she grows up. Unfortunately Kathy is grown up and still not writing, She has many books on writing and how to write and what to write and when to write and where to write and even books on writers who share their secrets on writing.
She read that writers often have rituals they do before they start the “process.” Some have prayers or a verse that they read, pictures that they look at or candles they light before they begin.
Kathy has collected positive affirmations over the years she hopes will help her creativity. Along with thanking the universe for filling her head with all the clever ideas that she will put on paper she also has a new exercise to do before she begins. She read that she should do 26 figure eight neck rolls, which will open, up her fifth chakra that represents communication.
Sitting at the computer waiting for the gods to speak she notices how painful her neck feels after the exercises. Kathy has neck problems from the ceiling of a drug store falling on her head more than twenty years ago. How am I going to work with this pain?
I could take a pain pill, but she knows that if she does she will get sleepy and not want to sit at the computer. “I know, I’ll take a toke that will take my mind off the pain,” Kathy says this out loud as she is known for talking to herself. She rolls a slender doobie, licks the edges and lights up. After a couple of tokes she no longer notices the discomfort in her neck and shoulders.
Sitting at her writing desk she arranged in the corner, she stares out the window at the trees. This is the place she imagined she would type her stories. Only a couple of minutes go by before she realizes she needs to eat before she gets “low blood sugar, “ known as cranky. Opening the door to the fridge she stares at the carrots, celery, eggs, oranges, dog food can and jars of condiments and thinks “there’s nothing to eat.”
What Kathy really wants is a juicy cheeseburger with fries from the “Flying Pink Pig” that is just down the hill from where she lives. The burger is not on the list of healthy choices but the idea, just like a good story is stuck in her head and will not go away. It’s not long before she is in her Volkswagen Beetle headed down the hill.
Kathy gets her food to go and would have gotten home sooner if she hadn’t got caught behind a school bus that made frequent stops and was going in her direction. She ends up eating her meal in the car as she does the “stop and go” dance with the bus back up the hill.
Her dog is waiting for her at the door and she remembers she hasn’t taken her for a walk yet. She grabs the leash and outside they go.
When Kathy gets back to her cottage she notices her computer is open and goes over to shut it down. There on the screen her Word document is open. She stares at the blank page.
And then we laughed.
The Buzzy Donahue Show 